Contribution #3 - Margaret Cho

"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can
change someone else's life forever."– Margaret Cho

I have been feeling nostalgic and reflecting a lot about my life lately. I guess in a way I've been flooded with memories since my stepmother's death and since I've been making positive & lasting changes in my life. I've been feeling very fortunate that I've received so much support through the years.

Yesterday one of my good friends was rushed to the hospital. She had had a mini-stroke. It was amazing how I snapped to attention and was there for her. I have also made myself available to her family if they need my support. Today I'm feeling very fortunate that I have the opportunity to give back to those loved ones in my life who have supported me.

Specific to this quote, I remember once, when I was working as a promotion assistant for a major record label, I had set up a special event for one of the Country music acts on the label. They were playing at a county fair so my boss invited various radio & reporting personnel to the concert. I rented a bus for all of us to make the trip up (yes, it was a wild party bus!) and purchased the admission & ride tickets for everyone in advance. Well, of course, not everyone who was invited came so I had a bunch of tickets leftover once we arrived.

I noticed that there were some kids by the fair entrance -- looking at the fair from outside the gate, and looking too poor to afford to get in. I went up the one of the oldest looking girls (she looked about 9 or 10) and asked her if she wanted the tickets for her and her friends. She was shocked, but I told her that I had extras and I wanted to put them to good use. I practically had to push the tickets (for admissions & rides) into her hands. Before I turned to walk away, I asked her to have fun with her friends.

I think of that girl from time to time... she was mixed, like me, and was wearing handed-down clothes with no shoes. She could have most likely to ended up as some kind of statistic for juvenile delinquency, but my hope has been that she felt she deserved more in life after I gave her the tickets. I've prayed for that little girl to grow up and create a good life for herself.

Contribution #2 - Julia Alvarez

"The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on."– Julia Alvarez

Well, Penny, since you're dealing with other things in your life right now, I figured I'd help you keep up this wonderful, amazing and inspirational blog. (I get quotes delivered right to my email inbox every day, so I'm happy to pinch hit for you now!)

There were other quotes I could have chosen, but this quote had a bit of synchronicity to its relevance -- I was talking to my friend's husband the other day about this concept of passing on kindness. He and I both come from incredibly dysfunctional families and we have experience unkindness from relatives in the past. What's so wonderful about the present though, is that my friend, her husband and her son have all embraced me as family, as I have done with them.

Anyway, Joe and I were agreeing on this point of passing on kindness -- it's no skin off your nose when you do, and it'll probably make you feel better when it's done. How come so many people don't understand that concept? Is it a lack of compassion for others? Is it that we are all so focused on what we can get out of life, rather than what we can give? Or is it just that not enough people have seen the movie "Pay It Forward"?

Well, whatever it is, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm going to pass on kindness, as altruistically as I am capable of, whenever the opportunity arises, regardless of what others are doing around me. Unfortunately Joe sometimes gets upset over the troubles of the world, but I know the sun is still shining above the clouds on a rainy day (I've been on flights that actually prove this phenomenon). Maybe Joe's faith in the limitless potential of the universe is obscured by the news or maybe his philosophy on life is a bit too bleak for my tastes... that doesn't matter either since I don't compare myself to others anymore. I can only look at who I am today, who I was yesterday, and who I want to become tomorrow.

I have had an enormous amount of kindness paid to me over the years... from many, many people (including my very dear friend Lilyane, who has been there with a helping hand at some very crucial moments in my life). How do I repay my debt of gratitude to all those people? It's simple -- become capable, through the help of those friends, to share kindness to others around me who are in need of kindness. And since "kindness" may take on many forms, I allow myself to be compassionate enough to act according to the uniqueness of each individual.

Penny, this is but one way for me to repay my debt of gratitude, and I thank you for the opportunity to pass on this kindness to your readers!

Contribution #1 - Daisaku Ikeda

Why doesn't constant trampling defeat the dandelion? The key to its
strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The
same principle applies to people. The true victors in life are those whose who,
enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to
such a depth that nothing can shake them.
- Daisaku Ikeda (Buddhist philosopher, educator and prolific writer & poet; President of the Soka Gakkai International (SGI) lay Buddhist movement)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PENNY!!! I hope you enjoyed and celebrated with vim & verve! And thank for giving me the opportunity to write in your blog.

One of my favorite movies is Federico Fellini's "Amacord." It's basically a nostalgic "year-in-the-life" tale of his childhood and, though it's set in World War II during the reign of Mussolini and his facist government, it is a delightful & funny film. There is one scene, denoting the coming of spring, that is most memorable for me. It is after winter, when the family is walking outside together and all of a sudden dandelion seeds (that fluff that gets over everything) blow in. There are so many of them that it looks like it's snowing. But because it signifies the advent of spring, the boy starts chasing the dandelion seeds with joy and playfulness.

I had never seen that phenomenon until I moved to the Berkshires. It's been "raining" dandelion seeds for at least a month now... although not as much as in Fellini's film, but I can't tell you how much joy there is in my heart seeing this magical sign of spring. Winter is far from being my favorite season (that's why I lived in Los Angeles for as long as I could), but somehow here in the Berkshires, at this time in my life, it is more endurable because I know it will "never fail to turn into spring" (Nichiren Daishonin, 13th c. Buddhist monk). Since living in the Berkshires, experiencing the inevitable change of season has been enchanting.

As the seasons change, I am reminded of the impermanence of the universe. I am understanding more that, with each year I grow older, death is also inevitable. My stepmother just passed away on June 10th and Shin Yatomi, a friend & fellow Soka Gakkai member passed away on May 31st. Although both had illnesses which would not improve, both deaths were unexpected for me. Although my stepmother was 72 years old, I had thought she would live until 80, like so many of her relatives. Shin was only 45 years old with inoperable lung cancer, but I thought, perhaps, he had at least a year since he told of us his illness, not a matter of months. I will miss them both and I will honor both by continuing to live, creating value with courage, compassion & wisdom as they did.

I am truly fortunate that my spiritual practice is the Buddhism of Nichiren Daishonin. It's the fuel that keeps me going, and the glue that helps me when things fall apart. It is also a philosophy that allows me to understand life, death, cause & effect, and the mysterious wonders of the universe. It has allowed me to mourn for my stepmother and friend without needless suffering and to appreciate the impact on my life even more. Chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo for them now, after their deaths, is the action I can take to continually praise their lives and the meditation I can do to find ways of repaying my debt of gratitude to them. For they, in their own unique way, supported the roots of my being to grow and reach the depths that I can now endure.

Big Mouth on a Small Planet

Big Mouth on a Small Planet

So today I begin my experiment with speaking in text anew. (I have an awful lot to say when my mouth is running. Put finger to keyboard, (pen to paper, chisel to stone, you get the drill) however, and I suddenly speechless.

So I've been thinking a lot about restaurant seating lately. And why restaurants have any "bad" tables at all. (And why I manage to be seated at one first go round often as not.) I go out to eat quite a bit and by now have some regular spots. I think I'll try out new eateries and see how often I am seated near a bathroom or drafty door. This should be interesting...

Week 8 - Emerson

We must be our own before we can be another's.
-Emerson

March 12, 2001, I was at work when I received a call from my mother. The doctors had informed her that it was only a matter of time for my grandmother, Vera Clowney. I immediately packed, picked up my daughter from school and headed home to NY. For the next day and a half, my mother, aunt and I held vigil with my grandmother. Touching her, kissing her, telling her we loved her. Shortly after she took her last breath, a voice came to me (I still don't know if it was mine, hers or God's) that said "Your life is your own". Even though I didn't quite understand it, I held it. In the six years since she died, I truly know that I own my life; it belongs to me and me alone. It is up to me to protect my dreams, create freely and to live my life on my terms, no matter how unconventionally it may look to the world. I will not let anything or anyone take from me that which is not freely given, and I will be self-preserving enough to nurture my joy. My joy can only bring more joy in the world. I am strong enough to deal with sorrow and not let it take who I am. Nobody and nothing owns my life, not a boss or a bill. This past week, I was dismissed earlier than my resignation date. My co-workers and the volunteers were upset, but it's truly been one of the best weeks I've had since I moved. I'm doing yoga, making appointments, able to focus on creative projects. I'm loving my life. I want even more of this.

A lovely friend of mine were having a conversation recently and she recounted a story of a relative asking her to visit. She told her relative that she would have to check at work to see about vacation time. And then it dawned on her, she's sixty, her parents are no longer alive, and she has to ask permission to do something that she wants to do. She is now actively pursuing projects and a business so that she will not be in that position. That's how I'm feeling at this point in my life. I'm a grown woman. I've raised a child who is just about grown. Why should I have to seek permission to live my life?

Question: How are you able to live your life freely and wholly?

Week 7 - Oliver

When it's over, I want to say: all my life
I was a bride married to amazement.
I was the bridegroom, taking the world into my arms.
- Mary Oliver, from When Death Comes

This is a small excerpt from the poem; please click on the link to view the whole poem. Valentine's Day was yesterday and, while it celebrates romantic love, I think we should include all types of love and loving experiences because that is what buoys your well-being. When I can remember that I am loved and to pursue what it is I love, I am blissful. When I don't, and lately, I haven't, I am miserable. Being married to amazement means to me that something I'm doing or pursuing is lighting up my imagination, my creativity, my soul. This year, I'm going to play with taking the world in my arms. I'm gong to write a list of things that would bring amazement in my life and carry that around with me and keep it on my wall because I tend to forget what is important. I'll share them as they come to fruition.

The first thing that brings me amazement is my tango dancing. I love it so much and only wish I could do more of it. This week was the first week when it felt like we were really dancing, not just doing steps. It is such a smooth and sensual dance, so much fun to perform.

Question: What brings amazement into your life?

Week 6 - Parson

When I began Inspirations, I had in mind to post a new quote every Saturday. Last Saturday, Feb 3, however, none of the quotes I had collected touched me. The day before was my mother (and my aunt's) 60th birthday and I had made plans to surprise her by driving up. The day before, though, I realized I couldn't afford to rent a car to take the trip. Birthdays are important to me, and to not see my mother on such a special birthday really hurt.

Strange how inspiration finds you. Usually, I write the quote first and then explain its importance, but this passage requires a brief explanation. I took yesterday off and while cleaning up, I ran across a letter my father wrote to my mother. He wrote the letter while he was in the hospital for a cancer treatment sometime in 1980. My father died on February 23, 1981. He was 40 years old, the same age as me, and when I put myself in his shoes, it's terrifying. I remember when I graduated from 5th grade, he wrote in my autograph book that he wanted me to graduate from college, too. He had dreams for my brothers and me that he would never see. I watched my father fight so hard to live, fight to stay with us even when he could no longer breathe by himself or swallow. I watched my mother, who was a young woman, deal with the diagnosis, the illness, the death, and the aftermath with dignity and strength. I saw them try to keep some semblance of normalcy for us even as our lives were turning into a nightmare. I didn't know at the time, but I was witnessing great acts of courage every day. This letter reminds me of what real love and dedication look like in the face of hardship. It reminds me of the type of person my father was and my mother is. I am made of great stock. My parents inspire me to keep fighting for the life I want. Here is the letter from my father, Willie Parson. [I cleaned up the spelling, but kept his punctuation].

Hi Love,

Just a short note to let you know I am all right, so far, this is Monday and I just came back from X-ray, have to go back again tomorrow, they will take pictures while I am swallowing some pink stuff, and if everything is ok they will take this trick [I think he is referring to his tracheostomy] out. When I came up on the floor everybody was glad to see me. They were running around telling everybody Will is here, everybody was telling me how good I looked and how much weight I had put on. Everybody asked about you, how is your wife and the kids, they were amazed at the way I look, they tell me whatever your wife is doing for you just keep it up. They were telling me how good a man I am, and behind every good man stands a good woman, true. I might be home early this time because they are starting the treatment right away. Kids go back to school Wed., right. I hope you get those food stamps we need them bad.

I forgot to ask you where was Penny and Mom going Monday on a bus. Well, I've just about written out now. Tell the gang I said Hello and be good. I'll see you all when I get home Friday I hope. Please don't forget I love you all very much. I guess that's what keeps me going, a loving family.

Bye now
See you later

My father was a really good artist and at the end of the letter, there are pictures of a school bus, cat, and a man with a net, with the following instructions: For Andre [my youngest brother, probably 4 at this time] to color and don't mess it up.

Guest Writer

I am not feeling very inspired this week and I hate to let a whole week go by without a post, so I'm asking for a guest writer to list a favorite quote and what it means to him or her.