". . . have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don't search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. "
-Rainer Maria Rilke, from Letters to a Young Poet, Letter #4
I love Rainer Maria Rilke. Besides being a wonderful poet, he was a great man, which is evidenced by his letters to the young poet, Franz Kappus; his responses are particularly gentle, understanding, and open. I read "Letters to a Young Poet" while in a depression and was particularly touched by Letters 4 and 8. I felt that somehow Rilke reached across a century and a continent to help me understand that sadness and uncertainty are a beautiful part of life when you can take them for what they are and learn from them instead of being frustrated by them. While I have not experienced that depth of that terrible sadness since, I have faced great uncertainty and hardship and had to trust that the situations would turn out and I would be okay.
As I'm writing, I am going through another period of questioning. What do I really want to do with my life? How do I allow the good that is seeking me come through? Why do I deny myself so much? Will I ever have enough money? Should I take a second job or focus on my business and stay with my current (crappy) job? Will I succeed as a clothing designer? I could go on and on, but you can understand how overwhelming this line of thinking can be.
I had a conversation with a friend yesterday afternoon and she helped me realize that instead of focusing on the answers to those questions and creating a lot of doubt, just start with something. I don't know what whether I'll be a successful designer or how my life map out, but I know that if I can do what I'm passionate about, all of the other stuff will be resolved. So my intention (which I decided right now) is to really live those questions, take them on as a challenge, and leave the answers to themselves.
Have a beautiful New Year!
What questions are you willing to live today, this week, this year?
Here is a link to more information about Rainer Maria Wilke
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainer_Maria_Rilke
There are two translations of "Letters to a Young Poet": M.D. Herter Norton and Stephen Mitchell.
Both are available at www.Amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com/
Stephen Mitchell's version is also on the web http://www.sfgoth.com/~immanis/rilke/letter1.html
*I'm a little partial to Mitchell's translation, but I also have Norton's.
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2 comments:
THIS POST IS FROM TONYA
Thanks for the signpost (to the letters). I didn't realize what was under your blog! I did read letter 8, and it does indeed help -- I tend to face myself with a shrinking back in horror or with impatience (always rejecting), and I've been trying to explore not the "why" but the "how next to proceed" -- the Tonya-maintenance handbook. It hasn't been written yet (or if it has, I think it had some water or fire damage and I can't make out the pages). But as any conservationist knows, it
takes great patience sometimes (most times) to repair the work and
"save" it from the muck. (Not quite sure what is muck and what is
patina, but I'm sure some sense of something will come out of the
observing.)
As I look at old sketches (some not so old - the work always seems to far away once I've thrust it under the mattress, so to speak) I wonder why I feel like I must protect them so. I think I've been trying to protect them from myself; I'm trying to coax myself to trust myself
with my own dreams and visions. It's probably going to be quite a task, but I'm very interested to see what happens.
Kevin and I are going to make good on our resolution to write
regularly, so tonight is our first reconvening of the writing group.
(I think we last did this with a few friends about 2 years ago.) I'm curious to see what my process is -- if it's the same or if it's
changed.
I hope to make some studio dates (it looks as if I will be able to hang onto the studio); I do hope you may be able to make it up to the frozen north (alright, there's nothing frozen here...) for one of them.
I'm so glad to partake of your generous sharing of your heart and mind.
Blog on, sister!
Tonya
YES, YOU WILL SUCCEED AS A FASHION DESIGNER - I'm counting on you to design my wardrobe!
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