Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"The time is always right to do what is right."

- The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

I would say "Enough said!" for this quote, but I feel like writing today so I'll elaborate.

Yes, it is always the right time to do the right thing... I guess you can call this a "moral" choice. I'd also factor in that the time is always now, so at every given moment it is our privilege to virtuously do what is right. It is actually advantageous for us to this because it affirms our enlightened nature and it causes the collective conscientious to be raised. I've never fancied myself as a philosopher, but today seems to be the right time for me to think philosphically. Who'd a thunk it!

When I was younger, and a cashier would mistakenly give me back more change, I thought it was my bounty. Nowadays, and I don't remember when I started doing so, I let cashiers know that they've given me back too much money and, additionally, tell them if they didn't charge me for an item. This act seems so minute, but it does have greater ramifications. When the cashier who made this type of mistake ends his/her shift, they close out their till and count the cash in the drawer. Employers may just dock the cashier's pay. Is this really fair, if I realize the error and say nothing to right the situation? I don't think so, which is why I choose to give back the excess money.

That is just one example, but I think it does illustrate my point. Besides, if we let the little things like this slide, how prone are we to sell ourselves short on even bigger opportunities to do the right thing. As Thoreau said, "Moral reform is the effort to throw off sleep." How many of us are "sleeping" through life... not living to our fullest capacity or striving to actualize our potential? As Henry David Thoreau put it, "The millions are awake enough for physical labor; but only one in a million is awake enough for effective intellectual exertion, only one in a hundred millions to a poetic or divine life." I, for one, cannot afford to sleep during my waking hours... life is way too precious.

I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes from Thoreau's Walden:

"We must learn to reawaken and keep ourselves awake, not by mechanical aids, but
by an infinite expectation of the dawn, which does not forsake us in our
soundest sleep. I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable
ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. It is something to
be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a statue, and so to make a
few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious to carve and paint the very
atmosphere and medium through which we look, which morally we can do. To affect
the quality of the day, that is the highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make
his life, even in its details, worthy of the contemplation of his most elevated
and critical hour."

Isn't this further elaboration of what Dr. King has so eloquently and succinctly said?

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau


I thought this appropriate for the New Year's. We tend to look ahead at this time and most often take a moment to reflect upon our lives. Reflecting upon a life lived makes it a life worth living. A few years back I realized the difference between reflecting and looking backwards when a very wise man in my life said, "You cannot compare yourself to others, you can only compare yourself to who you were yesterday, who you are now, and who you want to be tomorrow." His words keep me in the present moment when reflecting on my life & circumstances. I never want to look back so much that my gaze becomes fixed there... I like to learn from experience, be happy in the moment, and gaze upon the endless possibilities.

Overall, I feel blessed that I have lived another year and that I keep moving forward.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2008!!!

Contribution #5 - Horace Mann

"It is well to think well; it is divine to act well." - Horace Mann

So often we mortals think, and fall short of speech and action. I saw a recent poll (sorry, I can't remember where, but it was on the internet) where it said that over 90% of people felt they did not hear 'thank you' or 'you're welcome' enough in this day & age. How many of us are in relationships--romantic or otherwise--and we feel we have to ask if others love us or we just feel downright unloved? Saying these few phrases a bit more might probably raise humankind a bit more up the evolutionary ladder.

"Actions speak louder than words" is an old adage... and there's a reason for it to be so well known--it is truth! Being there for a friend in crisis, as much as your capable of, is indeed a worthy course of action. You demonstrate compassion and build trust when you act well towards other, no matter the action. You also get the opportunity to become less self-centered. Now, I don't mean self-centered only in an egotistical way--you can have the lowest self-esteem in the world and be depressed, and still this is a self-centered way of life.

When I first starting practicing Nichiren Buddhism with the SGI (a Buddhism lay organization), I was depressed. That was why I was seeking a spiritual solution in my life. My practice gave me hope and faith that things would change... and they did as I threw myself into altruistic activities within the organization to help others to practice Buddhism. I remember receiving spiritual guidance about a month after practicing because of my depression. The senior in faith told me that I had to start acting like a Boddhisattva [literally, a living being (sattva) who aspires to enlightenment (bodhi) and carries out altruistic practices]. After one month of me learning how to recite the prayers we do (which are in a form of Sanskrit, no less), I was encouraged to help others learn to recite the prayers. That act probably saved my life... OK, so I'm being a bit dramatic, but it did get me outside of myself, thinking of others, and taking the focus off things that were going on back then which seem petty and forgettable now. Making a positive impact in someone else's life, in turn, helped me to feel better about my life.

Acting for others gives me perspective in terms of my own life. Parents who help their children grow into healthy, happy adults are prime examples of altruism... good parents think of what's best for their children and act accordingly. You can definitely see the positive results of their actions in their children (I have seen it in Penny's daughter!)... and those children develop into people capable of acting in altruistic ways themselves. It just multiplies!!!

So smile... say 'please,' 'you're welcome' & 'thank you' often... volunteer in your community... hold the door open for someone... feel capable of positively effecting another person's life & act accordingly... and please just enjoy being with the people in your life... make sure you speak and act with love towards them so they will feel loved... that love will be reflected back to you in no time... a thousandfold.

Contribution #4 - William James

This life is worth living, we can say, since it is what we make it.

- William James

Making what you make out of life has been a recurrent theme for me. When I was a student at Mount Holyoke College, I was told that the experience would be what I made of it. I didn't make much of, but I got the point. When I lived in Los Angeles, I really did put this idea into action and transformed myself (somewhat) into a relatively self-made person. Now that I'm back at college (MCLA), I've come full circle back around to this idea that life is what you make of it.

I guess, on a deeper level, I have my Buddhist practice to thank for understanding this concept and putting it into action. In the philosophy of Nichiren Buddhism, we believe that we must never forfeit our responsibility under any situation. This is not to say that we blame ourselves for the messes in our lives, or arrogantly sit upon the laurels of our accomplishments. In a nutshell, it means that we live our lives as best we can, where we are right now, and with the skills and knowledge of who we are and what we're capable of doing.

I acknowledge, but no longer focus on, what's lacking in my life. Instead, I try to have no regrets and concentrate on living to my fullest potential. That is the sense of responsibility I feel and try to embody every day. In a very personal sense that means that I can't expect to lose the weight I want to by asking a friend to exercise and I can't earn money by watching a co-worker count his/her money. I am responsible for my own happiness... and unhappiness.

Yet, there is also a seamless interconnectedness in the universe which makes it possible for us to see our influence on others and in our environment, i.e., when I take responsibility to go out every day and sweep the pavement in front of my apartment building, before long others are either taking care not to add garbage or sweeping with me AND neighbors nearby are doing the same thing for their streets so that pretty soon we build a sense of community & pride to create cleaner & safer places to live. It's true what they say... it just takes one person to change the whole world, just as it only takes one person to mess it up. I truly believe that a positive change can be enacted an individual who possesses determination, consistent effort and stamina -- and that individual exists in the mirror!

Anyway, life is what you make of it -- and I'm choosing to create a positive life. If I can encourage just one other person to take a positive step in his/her life by being an example, well that's just icing on the cake... and most of us eat cake just so we can get a corner piece (or one of those flowers) so we savor the icing!!!

Contribution #3 - Margaret Cho

"Sometimes when we are generous in small, barely detectable ways it can
change someone else's life forever."– Margaret Cho

I have been feeling nostalgic and reflecting a lot about my life lately. I guess in a way I've been flooded with memories since my stepmother's death and since I've been making positive & lasting changes in my life. I've been feeling very fortunate that I've received so much support through the years.

Yesterday one of my good friends was rushed to the hospital. She had had a mini-stroke. It was amazing how I snapped to attention and was there for her. I have also made myself available to her family if they need my support. Today I'm feeling very fortunate that I have the opportunity to give back to those loved ones in my life who have supported me.

Specific to this quote, I remember once, when I was working as a promotion assistant for a major record label, I had set up a special event for one of the Country music acts on the label. They were playing at a county fair so my boss invited various radio & reporting personnel to the concert. I rented a bus for all of us to make the trip up (yes, it was a wild party bus!) and purchased the admission & ride tickets for everyone in advance. Well, of course, not everyone who was invited came so I had a bunch of tickets leftover once we arrived.

I noticed that there were some kids by the fair entrance -- looking at the fair from outside the gate, and looking too poor to afford to get in. I went up the one of the oldest looking girls (she looked about 9 or 10) and asked her if she wanted the tickets for her and her friends. She was shocked, but I told her that I had extras and I wanted to put them to good use. I practically had to push the tickets (for admissions & rides) into her hands. Before I turned to walk away, I asked her to have fun with her friends.

I think of that girl from time to time... she was mixed, like me, and was wearing handed-down clothes with no shoes. She could have most likely to ended up as some kind of statistic for juvenile delinquency, but my hope has been that she felt she deserved more in life after I gave her the tickets. I've prayed for that little girl to grow up and create a good life for herself.

Contribution #2 - Julia Alvarez

"The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on."– Julia Alvarez

Well, Penny, since you're dealing with other things in your life right now, I figured I'd help you keep up this wonderful, amazing and inspirational blog. (I get quotes delivered right to my email inbox every day, so I'm happy to pinch hit for you now!)

There were other quotes I could have chosen, but this quote had a bit of synchronicity to its relevance -- I was talking to my friend's husband the other day about this concept of passing on kindness. He and I both come from incredibly dysfunctional families and we have experience unkindness from relatives in the past. What's so wonderful about the present though, is that my friend, her husband and her son have all embraced me as family, as I have done with them.

Anyway, Joe and I were agreeing on this point of passing on kindness -- it's no skin off your nose when you do, and it'll probably make you feel better when it's done. How come so many people don't understand that concept? Is it a lack of compassion for others? Is it that we are all so focused on what we can get out of life, rather than what we can give? Or is it just that not enough people have seen the movie "Pay It Forward"?

Well, whatever it is, it doesn't really matter to me. I'm going to pass on kindness, as altruistically as I am capable of, whenever the opportunity arises, regardless of what others are doing around me. Unfortunately Joe sometimes gets upset over the troubles of the world, but I know the sun is still shining above the clouds on a rainy day (I've been on flights that actually prove this phenomenon). Maybe Joe's faith in the limitless potential of the universe is obscured by the news or maybe his philosophy on life is a bit too bleak for my tastes... that doesn't matter either since I don't compare myself to others anymore. I can only look at who I am today, who I was yesterday, and who I want to become tomorrow.

I have had an enormous amount of kindness paid to me over the years... from many, many people (including my very dear friend Lilyane, who has been there with a helping hand at some very crucial moments in my life). How do I repay my debt of gratitude to all those people? It's simple -- become capable, through the help of those friends, to share kindness to others around me who are in need of kindness. And since "kindness" may take on many forms, I allow myself to be compassionate enough to act according to the uniqueness of each individual.

Penny, this is but one way for me to repay my debt of gratitude, and I thank you for the opportunity to pass on this kindness to your readers!

Contribution #1 - Daisaku Ikeda

Why doesn't constant trampling defeat the dandelion? The key to its
strength is its long and sturdy root, which extends deep into the earth. The
same principle applies to people. The true victors in life are those whose who,
enduring repeated challenges and setbacks, have sent the roots of their being to
such a depth that nothing can shake them.
- Daisaku Ikeda (Buddhist philosopher, educator and prolific writer & poet; President of the Soka Gakkai International (SGI) lay Buddhist movement)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PENNY!!! I hope you enjoyed and celebrated with vim & verve! And thank for giving me the opportunity to write in your blog.

One of my favorite movies is Federico Fellini's "Amacord." It's basically a nostalgic "year-in-the-life" tale of his childhood and, though it's set in World War II during the reign of Mussolini and his facist government, it is a delightful & funny film. There is one scene, denoting the coming of spring, that is most memorable for me. It is after winter, when the family is walking outside together and all of a sudden dandelion seeds (that fluff that gets over everything) blow in. There are so many of them that it looks like it's snowing. But because it signifies the advent of spring, the boy starts chasing the dandelion seeds with joy and playfulness.

I had never seen that phenomenon until I moved to the Berkshires. It's been "raining" dandelion seeds for at least a month now... although not as much as in Fellini's film, but I can't tell you how much joy there is in my heart seeing this magical sign of spring. Winter is far from being my favorite season (that's why I lived in Los Angeles for as long as I could), but somehow here in the Berkshires, at this time in my life, it is more endurable because I know it will "never fail to turn into spring" (Nichiren Daishonin, 13th c. Buddhist monk). Since living in the Berkshires, experiencing the inevitable change of season has been enchanting.

As the seasons change, I am reminded of the impermanence of the universe. I am understanding more that, with each year I grow older, death is also inevitable. My stepmother just passed away on June 10th and Shin Yatomi, a friend & fellow Soka Gakkai member passed away on May 31st. Although both had illnesses which would not improve, both deaths were unexpected for me. Although my stepmother was 72 years old, I had thought she would live until 80, like so many of her relatives. Shin was only 45 years old with inoperable lung cancer, but I thought, perhaps, he had at least a year since he told of us his illness, not a matter of months. I will miss them both and I will honor both by continuing to live, creating value with courage, compassion & wisdom as they did.

I am truly fortunate that my spiritual practice is the Buddhism of Nichiren Daishonin. It's the fuel that keeps me going, and the glue that helps me when things fall apart. It is also a philosophy that allows me to understand life, death, cause & effect, and the mysterious wonders of the universe. It has allowed me to mourn for my stepmother and friend without needless suffering and to appreciate the impact on my life even more. Chanting nam-myoho-renge-kyo for them now, after their deaths, is the action I can take to continually praise their lives and the meditation I can do to find ways of repaying my debt of gratitude to them. For they, in their own unique way, supported the roots of my being to grow and reach the depths that I can now endure.

Big Mouth on a Small Planet

Big Mouth on a Small Planet

So today I begin my experiment with speaking in text anew. (I have an awful lot to say when my mouth is running. Put finger to keyboard, (pen to paper, chisel to stone, you get the drill) however, and I suddenly speechless.

So I've been thinking a lot about restaurant seating lately. And why restaurants have any "bad" tables at all. (And why I manage to be seated at one first go round often as not.) I go out to eat quite a bit and by now have some regular spots. I think I'll try out new eateries and see how often I am seated near a bathroom or drafty door. This should be interesting...